The One Where I Went On The Rock Boat XV.

2015 has already been a busy year of concerts so far. It’s towards the end of April, and my count is already up to 16! Expect all the blogs soon.

I started off the year in the best way possible: THE ROCK BOAT!

This was the first year that I actually flew into Florida, got on the boat, then flew home right afterwards.

As short as the trip was, TRB never disappoints. All the fun was had. I always said that TRB 13 couldn’t ever be topped (that boat = EPIC) but 15 gave it a damn good run for it’s money!

Boarding day was on a Saturday this year, which made getting through the work week torturous. I was legit unproductive the last 4 hours on Thursday. (I don’t know how I lasted that long.)

After my last shift, I packed up some last minute things (my packing motto this trip was “if it fits, I’m gonna stick it in” #thatswhatshesaid) and headed up to Walnut Creek to stay the night at Dawn L and Tracy’s place. We were awake until probably after midnight, and the alarm was set for 4am. Ha. Torture part two.

We zombied out the door Friday morning, even after a few cups of coffee, and headed to SFO. Once we were there checking in, it really hit us that it was ROCK BOAT TIME. I think I yelled ROCK BOAT multiple times throughout the airport.

This was my first time on a non-stop flight and man…I’ve been spoiled. I never want a layover again. I had booked my flight way after DawnL and Tracy, so we didn’t get to sit together, but Virgin has seat to seat texting! So we spent a lot of time messaging one another. It was a thumb workout.

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We finally arrived in Fort Lauderdale around 5pm, and man, loosing 3 hours really throws you off. When we went to find our bags, we found the lovely Rachel who was staying with us that night. I might have screamed her name all the way across the baggage claim, and she may have heard me. I am loud.

We took a car to Miami. It was long and hot, and our driver was weird and rude. As soon as we walked into our hotel Michael Franti and Jay (his hot guitarist) were standing there and I knew it was going to get even better.

We settled into our room and refreshed ourselves, before going back down stairs to have dinner at the connecting restaurant. Our friends April and Joe were also staying at the Marriott, so they joined us half way through.

After dinner, we were headed out of the restaurant and ran right into Scars and crew! We had a happy little reunion and chatted for a bit before they headed in for dinner.

A month before, we had gotten WCM/Scars tattoos and they were seeing them for the first time (in Danny’s handwriting; the hashtag is Aimee’s.) Danny grabbed each of our arms and rubbed them with his thumb, as if they were sharpied on and would come off. Yes dude, that’s your handwriting, and yes, they are permanent. 🙂

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We were jet-lagged and sleep deprived so we went back to our room to just relax since we were all hitting a wall around that point.

SATURDAY

Sleep didn’t last for very long though, because around 6am Brianna and Jeanette arrived from their red eye flight from San Diego.

Thus, began a morning of 6 girls in one hotel room. SHENANIGANS. I apologize to our hotel neighbors, because we were talking and laughing and dancing and singing songs about cats pretty much all morning.

Around check out we headed to the lobby of the hotel to attack the Starbucks and wait until it was our assigned time to arrive at the port.

Rachel and I were the last two down to the lobby, and after we got our coffee, we rounded a corner to Dawn L saying, “Look who we found!”

AUSTIN! My homie! We hugged it out, and then I finally met his super adorable wife, Amie. They are seriously the cutest couple.

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We all hung out in the lobby for a bit, and then we hopped into a cab to head to the port.

ROCK BOAT, WE ARE COMING FOR YOOOOU.

The process of getting onto the boat this year was HORRIBLE. I don’t even understand what was going on. This was my 10th cruise, and it had never taken over 45 minutes to board. This year? 3 AND A HALF HOURS. ^&%&^#$%^#&@%$

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I had never been so excited to take a boarding photo, and see the high five sign in my life.

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By the time we got onto the boat, it was 3:30. The mandatory emergency drill was at 4pm and I was STARVING. The hotel didn’t have free breakfast, so I had only ate a banana and some PB I had in my backpack from the plane ride to tide me over until we got on the boat. Since it took so long, I was beyond tipping the line of hangry so I literally walked onto the boat, threw my backpack in our cabin and ran up the 7 flights of stairs to catch the end of lunch.

As I was running across the pool deck, I ran into Beth, Amanda, and JC. Beth bear hugged me and then I yelled “I FUCKING LOVE YOU BUT I NEED FOOD.” and continued on my venture. Ha. Sorry girls. We had the next 4 days. Feed me or Joslyn is gonna murder people.

As I was plating a salad, the staff was shutting down the buffet on me. NOOO. I had a half assed plate of spinach. Better than nothing.

I walked back to our muster station shoving greens in my face. And then they told me I couldn’t bring in the plate for the drill, so I shoved one last bite in my face and put the plate on the floor. These people. I NEEDED FOOD. Don’t they understand. Hangry is not to be messed with.
The muster drill is a joke. This year everyone was talking so loud I couldn’t even hear what the people were saying. If the ship was going down, we were all fucked.

Afterwards we went to meet up with the girls and head up to our “spot” to watch the sail away show. They always hand out complimentary shots for sail away, and I grabbed 2 because HI IT’S FREE ALCOHOL.

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Sister Hazel came out and said that for the first song, there were free drinks, so we ran down a flight of steps and double fisted drinks as the bar tenders walked by with trays of drinks. Um, fuck yeah I was gonna be greedy.

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So after the shots, plus 2 drinks (or was it 3?!) I was feeling NICE. Nice and tipsy. We ran into these fantastic people and chatted for a bit.

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We watched some of Sister Hazel. The merch store opened in the middle of the set and they always run out of things super quick, so my drunk ass made it’s way into the library room (I love that they have a cruise library!) to buy some items.

Bare Naked Ladies and Franti apparently played some songs while we were buying merch. I realized when we walked back out…oh it’s the “chickety china song!”

I think we went to eat food after this. The alcohol proves to make me not remember. Ha. And then we went to watch Bare Naked Ladies who are SO MUCH FUN and I didn’t expect them to be that much fun.

After BNL, we headed out to the Pool Deck to watch Michael Franti. Apparently he had a prior injury that he tweeked in the middle of the set, but we couldn’t even tell he put on such a fun show! (Or we were taking pictures with this shark and was drooling over Jay with Beth…)

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During the set, the most hilarious thing happened to me and it set up the beginning of an inside joke for the rest of the entire boat.

Long story short…to keep the identity of the person safe I won’t name names…HA. But SOMEONE from my favorite band had a little too much to drink. And then that someone might have came and ran into our group and it turned into a giant group hug. That someone might have spilled their drink all down me while saying, “This feels like a NAKED HUG!” then proceeded to scream, “Rape, rape!” And then to end it all…that person grabbed and squeezed my ass. And I mean it was a good one. Full hand cupped and all.

I totally thought one of the girls grabbed it until I said, “That hurt!” and they were all, “What hurt?” and my mind did the process of elimination before going OH SHIT HAHA. That ass grab was the most action I’ve gotten in the past year, so thanks. 😉 Hahaha.

After that incident, we headed into the atrium to watch Green River Ordinance. Their set started at 12:30am and I was at the end of energy for the night, so I said that I would stay until they played my favorite song. They played it second. Ha. So away I went to bed.

SUNDAY

The next morning Beth, Amanda and I met nice and early to workout. I never sleep, even when I have the choice. Sigh.

After our workout I headed to grab an americano because caffeine always, then back to the room to get ready. Dawn L and Tracy were awake, and we were chatting about our nights. They had gone to watch another band when the whole “naked hug” incident happened, so I was telling them about it.

“I feel like I need to poke fun of the situation.” I said.

“Oh, you SO DO.” they agreed.

So. Lucky me that favorite band of mine was having a meet and greet that morning. I walk up to their table and I say, “So…what do you remember about last night?”
“Not much, why?”

“Oh. So you don’t remember spilling your drink all over me while hugging me and saying ‘This feels like a naked hug!’ then screamed ‘rape, rape!’ while grabbing my ass?”

Let’s just say the band all had different reactions to this. One of them nearly fell out of their chairs laughing, one looked like they wanted to crawl under the table and die, one had their mouth open and asked me to repeat what happened, and the one who couldn’t remember what they did just stared at me.

Let me make this clear: I found this whole situation HILARIOUS. I am a touchy person and I slap my friends asses all the time, so I was not offended by this at all. Look at all the fucks I give: none. So I was laughing this entire conversation.

“That should be your next tattoo. ‘Hashtag: This Feels Like A Naked Hug.'” OH MAN. Good times.

Kris Allen was in the same meet and greet, so we headed over to his table next after traumatizing my favorites. Heh.

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I had seen Kris a bunch of time, but hadn’t met him yet, so I was pretty stoked about this. He’s so little though he makes me look massive in that photo.

Austin aka Broken Anchor was also having his meet and greet that morning, so we hung out for a bit before the bands switched out and we got to say hi.

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The WCM adores that dude.

We then headed on up to the sports deck because Scars on 45 was playing another soccer match. This year I did not even sign up to play after my SUPER FAIL the previous year. Ha. I learned my lesson. I SUCK. The end. Spectator for life.

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After an AMAZING match that had us screaming at the end (amazing minus the fact that this dude played rough and broke Aimee’s toe, the EFF?!) we headed to get lunch, and to relax a little bit.

Austin had his first set of the boat, so we headed on down to Bar City to watch. But first…more coffee.

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We pretty much ran away after Austin’s set, because the Shadowboxers were playing up in the Spinnaker. THEY ARE SO TALENTED AND HOLY MOLEY SEXY.

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That night Scars played their first set. ON THE POOL DECK. We had been waiting for a pool deck show for 3 years! In the middle of the set, the “incident” got brought up. Well, sorta. They were talking about onstage how one of them had a little too much to drink the night before and a few people had come up to them and asked if they remembered it. They were talking to those people from onstage. Then I was pointed at and was told, “We’re not talking about yours!” and I just died laughing. Oh the joy it gave me. Hahaha.

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After Scars, we went to watch the Mowgli’s in the Atrium. They are so much fun!

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We were sad about the lack of a DJ this year (wah, no dance party USA!) but Headphone Disco was going on. We decided to go and see if it was worth the hype. UM YES.

We danced for a little over an hour before deciding to call it a night.

MONDAY

The next morning was the day we got to get off the boat. We decided to workout before getting off the boat, and ran into Steve, Chris, and Em in the gym while we were in the middle of our workout. Watching them do their workout put my workout to shame. Hahaha.

So during my workout, I was complaining that my butt hurt. I shook it off as being sore from the previous day’s leg/butt workout. I even foam rolled to try to ease the pain.

After I had showered it STILL hurt and I had been thinking…that’s exactly where my ass got grabbed. So I hiked my shorts up, looked in the mirror and OH HEY THERE’S A BRUISE. Oh yes. The story just got more hilarious.

I head to the other girls’ room and I am all LOOK AT MY ASS. Yes, I shared my bruise. We are close and I don’t care. I’m a classy lady like that. I’d probably flash it to you too, if you asked nicely.

So Beth, Amanda, JC and I head off the boat to wander Cozumel. Basically if you didn’t book an excursion, or took a taxi somewhere there wasn’t much to see.

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After, we realized there was nothing else close by. And we were bored. So we wandered back through the shops, and still bought nothing. We wanted this minion shirt but it only came in infant size. Wahhh.

So we got back on the boat to just lounge in chairs and hang out in the sun for a few hours. Which was actually really nice. Then we headed back to Beth, Amanda and JC’s room to try to nap. Which turned into a spoon fest and we just laughed.

The theme of this night was “Epic Movie Night” and I was all about the Harry Potter. I dressed as Hermione/a nerdy Griffindor student. (And failed at getting a photo of my entire costume. I had awesome socks and shoes that you can’t see.)

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We decided to play cards against humanity for a bit before it was time to watch Scars, and EVERY SINGLE Harry Potter card kept popping up. Magic!

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Scars’ second set was in the Stardust. This was a really fun show. At one point of the show, all the girls who were in the hotel room all said, “YASSS” (another inside cat joke thing) at the same time, right as it got awkwardly silent. Cue the band cracking up at us onstage. We are your mentals, alright.

We then wandered to watch Kris Allen play in the Atrium. He is so stinking good!

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At midnight, all the bands were performing out on the pool deck for Epic Movie Night. Scars went on first so we braved the wind until they went on. Then we stuck around for a few more songs from other bands, then headed to put some stuff back in our cabins cause the best was yet to come!

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Scars on 45 was having a DJ set starting at 1am, and I knew we’d be dancing up a storm. I left my wand and de-socked and headed to Bar City to get our dance ON.

The set lasted for an hour and a half. This was also when we were going back from Mexico/US time, so we ended up loosing an hour when it hit 2am.

So when it ended, it was 3:30am. And we were still awake. And no one wanted to go to sleep yet. And then Steve yelled, “DRINKS ON ME!” so we all piled into the casino.

This is where shenanigans began. The one who had too many drinks pulled me aside to apologize for their actions that first night. It was totally heartfelt and they kept saying sorry over and over and I was all, “DUDE. It’s me. It’s fine. You don’t have to say your sorry.”

“No. Joslyn. That is not me. I don’t want my actions to change how you feel about the band. You are like family to us. I’m deeply sorry.”

“…So I shouldn’t mention that you left a bruise on my ass then?”

“Oh, fuck.” HAHAHA.

The night turned into day and we were all still wide awake. More shenanigans happened that I will just say what happens in the casino, stays in the casino.

Finally around 6:30am (!!!!) we all make our way make to our cabins because…well the casino shuts down at 6:30am. HA.

TUESDAY

There was another incident that happened once I got into my cabin that I’ll just let that rest at sea as well. HA. So many shenanigans! So by the time I finally went to sleep it was after 7:30am. I woke up at 10am because my body hates me. I laid in bed chatting with Dawn L for a bit, then took a quick shower and around 10:30 am decided to head on up to grab food because I was starving and breakfast was over at 11.

I felt like a zombie, and I was heading towards a 2 seater table to sit by myself when I heard my name. I look up, and there are Danny and Aimee. Danny laughs and says, “The look on your face tells me you just woke up.” and I gave him a YOU HAVE NO IDEA look back. He gestured to sit down at their table and then they proceeded to ask me about the evening.

“What time did you go to bed?”
“Um. 7:30.”
“What time is it now?”
“Um, 11?”

“Wait…7:30…AM? You only slept 3 hours? Why?”

We then played 20 questions (for real, that kid kept the questions flowing) and then I caught them up on everything.

Aimee showed me her foot. It was SO bruised and I was like, “OMG, does it hurt?!”

“What the fuck do you think?” Hahaha. And she calls ME cheeky…

We chatted for a little bit more before they headed out, and told me to get more sleep. Sleep, what’s that? I did get the largest americano I could get my hands on afterwards though, then headed back to the room to put some makeup on my face so I wouldn’t look like I apparently felt.

I finished getting ready and then found Beth. We headed out to the pool deck to watch the Mowgli’s at noon, and I don’t know how I was standing at this point. I think the sunlight helped though.

We then headed to watch Austin play his second set.

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Then, it was time for the street team to have the second annual bowling party with the band. Fun times, even though I didn’t even play. So I just made everyone take selfies with me.

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Family photo, with matching family bracelets. ❤

After bowling, we headed to eat dinner. We then decided we were all old and tired and didn’t really want to do anything that involved a ton of energy, so we went and found a place to just hang out and play cards against humanity again.

We then headed to watch Scars’ final set in the atrium. Wah, it was all ending.

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Aimee was supposed to sing a song with Sister Hazel, so we headed towards the Stardust but the room was BEYOND packed and full to capacity, so we just sat out in the hall and listened.

We went back to the Atrium to watch the “secret show” from a few of the bands. We ran into Em and Steve and they told us that the Headphone Disco guys had asked the band to come and guest DJ for the night. YES DANCING.

It was just down to just Beth, Rachel and I at this point, but we danced away with Steve for a good hour or so before I made the executive decision to go back to my cabin because it was 3am and I still needed to pack.

WEDNESDAY

After packing and crawling into bed around 3:30am, we woke up at 8am for breakfast. I literally rinsed off in the shower, threw a hoodie on and over my second day hair, and headed into the dining room to meet with everyone for food.

After we ate, we ran into the band so we said our goodbyes. I adore those kids. Just stick me on a boat with them forever.

We stood around the boat for as long as possible until staff was shooing us into debarking.

Luckily, the debarking situation went about 2000% quicker. I think we got off the boat within 15 minutes of being shooed away.

Our flights weren’t until 5pm, so we were not in any rush at all getting a taxi and heading to the airport. When we arrived at the airport and checked in, it was still only a little after noon. Ugh, the forever wait began.

We went to lunch (well, I drank mango iced tea) and we basically laughed at everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. At one point I was crying and laughing over spilled BBQ sauce. That shouldn’t even BE funny. Don’t sleep for 4 days and man…mind is fucking lost.

After what felt like FOREVER we boarded our plane and of course I wasn’t tired. The eff. I was sitting next to Tracy, who was in the aisle seat, and Dawn L was in the seat on the aisle across the way. Dawn L basically fell asleep the second we got on the plane. Haha. Tracy and I talked and watched random TV channels. At some point I had dosed off and woke up and was leaning all up in Tracy’s space. I was like OH WHOA SORRY and she just laughed at me.

Apparently whenever I fell asleep, Dawn L was awake and vice versa. So. I never even talked to her the entire 5 hour flight. Tag team sleeping. Gotta keep Tracy occupied. 😉

Luckily, we walked right to baggage claim and our bags came out within 2 minutes. And then when we called for the shuttle it was there within 5. Yes please always. We picked up Dawn L’s car then headed back to Walnut Creek.

It was around 11pm at this point and I decided to just tough it out and drive the 2 hours home. It was fine until the last 45 minutes and then BAM super exhaustion. By the time I got home at 1am, I beyond face planted right into my bed…where I stayed for the entire remaining day.

I woke up the next morning with no voice, so I knew it was a good one.

TRB. You never disappoint.
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Posted on April 22, 2015, in Life, Tour Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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