The One Where It Was “Joslynapalooza”

I don’t do sun well. But I do concert well. So somehow I made it through three days of intense heat at radio festival shows. 108 degrees. 105 degrees. 98 degrees. BAH.

BUT.  In three days, I saw almost all of my favorites. Andrew McMahon. Matt Nathanson. Andy Grammer. Lifehouse. Parachute. Rachel Platten. COME ON. This was like if I was going to book all my bands to play “Joslynapalooza”

 

So. Let’s begin on what almost was the end of me, but the best weekend.

 

SACRAMENTO.

 

I was probably dreading the Sacramento show the most, only because I had never stood in 108 degree weather before. Luckily, the line was in the shade all day, so even though it was hot as hell, it didn’t feel that bad. This was actually the only day I didn’t feel like I was nearing death.

 

Jane, Yvonne, Caroline, and I were all in for this show. The doors opened at 5pm, but we decided to get there around noon because…well, we always get to everything way too early. Front row or no row…

 

The lineup for the Sacramento show was the following:

Nick Fradiani, Andrew McMahon, Mat Kearney and Matt Nathanson.

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I saw Nick Fradiani at a radio gig back last December, and had liked him then, so I didn’t mind that he was opening this show.

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I was super stoked for Andrew and Matt. During Andrew’s set, he came out to the crowd and jumped on the barricade. He spotted me and came over and was singing right in my face, while lightly hitting my arm with a fist. I’m pretty sure my face was all 😀 😀 😀 the whole time (and also I was thinking, “Don’t put the mic in my face, please don’t put the mic in my face…”) Ha. I love that man. Matt was sitting on the side watching Andrew, and it was cute.

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Mat Kearney was on next. Kinda funny that he was playing this show, because the first time I ever saw Nathanson, I had gone for Kearney who was opening. My friend and I kept joking around, “Mat with one T, not with two T’s!” and then I stayed to watch Nathanson and well….we all know how that turned out.

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Matt was on last, and I just love him the most out of anyone. Seriously. Plus he played one of his new songs, “Giants” for the first time, and I was heart eyeing the shit out of it. He’s so good. So good.

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After the show was over, I said hi to a dozen people who I knew, and some people that knew me and I didn’t know who they were (I’m a social media celebrity…kidding!) and then I jumped in my car to drive halfway to Vegas. I had booked a hotel in Bakersfield for the evening, and for some reason I had under-calculated how far it was by 45 minutes. Oy vey. It was a long four and a half hour drive. I basically checked into my hotel, took a quick shower, and then face planted into the bed.

LAS VEGAS

 

Vegas was a crazy day. I woke up at 6am after getting to my hotel around 3am, and hit the road. It was another 4 hour and a half hour drive, and doors were at 11am. Ugh. Why am I insane?

Originally, only Andy and Lifehouse were scheduled to play this gig, but then Hilary Duff canceled and they added Matt. (That’s a funny substitution, but okay, I accept.) Since I had shows the days before and after Vegas, I originally decided to skip this one. But then the whole hang time in Minnesota with Grammer’s band happened, and I asked Rachel, “I kinda have to go to Vegas now, don’t I?” So. Vegas was added. Flights to Arizona canceled. Driving plans set.

 

I arrived in Vegas about a half hour before doors opened, and I could have totally gotten there about 2 hours later, because the no one even stood in the GA standing up front. Everyone brought chairs and umbrellas so they were sitting halfway back on the field. Annoying. I should have napped longer.

 

Luckily the first 2 hours I was in shade though. And then around 1pm the sun poked out from behind the stage and…DEATH RAYS. It was a bit cooler than Sacramento, but I was in the direct sun. In the desert. Sweat instantly.

 

I pulled my hair back into a braid and gave up trying to look decent because I knew I was gross after about 30 minutes.

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Nick Fradiani was opening this show as well, and he went on at 1pm. Then there was a huge break.

Andy was performing at 3pm, and when the band came out around 2 to sound check I got multiple reactions. Doug just looked at me and grinned and waved, Eman and I had a conversation about how I was crazy for driving there (and then he gave me an ice water because I’m sure I looked like I was dying) and Zach’s reaction was the best. He walked out onstage, spotted me after a few seconds, mouth dropped open. He then proceeded to jump off stage and jump onto the barricade to hug me while exclaiming “WHAT, HOW, WHERE ARE WE?!” (Yup, he’s my favorite.)

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Zach and I chatted for a few minutes and then he jumped back onstage to do his thing. It was SO HOT during their set. I was basically willing myself not to pass out. As I was chanting, “don’t pass out, don’t pass out, don’t pass out” in my head, this girl in the crowd fainted and got pulled out by security. So I chugged some water and focused the shit out of the music and somehow survived the set.

 

There was another long break between Andy and Lifehouse.

Needtobreathe also performed.

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I had posted a photo saying I gave up on Facebook around this time and for someone to come and dump ice on me. Matt had randomly friend requested me on Facebook a few weeks before, and he sees all things, and commented “I will be there soon with the ice” (*coughheneverbroughticecough*)

The sun finally tucked itself behind a cloud when Lifehouse finally came out, and I turned 16 when they walked out. I was supposed to see them back in June opening for Nickelback (gross, I know) but then the tour got canceled last minute, so I was deprived.

Jason started talking to me in the middle of their set from onstage, and I was heart eyeing all over again. Sometimes he makes me feel 16 all over again. While they were playing, Matt was standing side stage watching, and I wanted to yell at him WHERE IS MY ICE BITCH?! HA.

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So then there was a break again between Lifehouse and Matt. I feel like they could have condensed this into a lot shorter of a day if there wasn’t so many breaks!

 

By the time Matt came out, the sun had set and it was a much enjoyable temperature. Dahl and Erin showed up and threw me a water from a few rows back, so I hydrated myself a bit more. (By the end of the day I drank 6 bottles of water and never once had to pee. So. Much. Sweat.)

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Usually I am sad when a Nathanson set is close to ending, but by the time that Matt started playing “Come On Get Higher” I had the thought, “thank god it’s almost over” run through my head. Man. 10 hours is too long to be in that sun…

 

Third Eyed Blind was closing the night after Matt, but I was beyond done so I pushed my way out of the tightly packed crowd and found my way to my car. I just sat in my car for a bit before driving to Erin and Dahl’s place, because I hadn’t sat down in hours and my body was just done.

I looked in the mirror at myself, and I started laughing, because I looked like I came right out of the movie The Hangover. I was a hot mess. A stinky, sweaty, hot mess.

Eventually I made my way to Erin and Dahl’s, and they fed and vodka’d me. I was so dehydrated that one drink and whoops, I was drunk.

 

Matt then responded to all my tweets about being so glad about it being over with, “We just need to start putting you onstage. Seriously.” I’ll believe it when I see it, Nathanson. Aaaand I was slightly intoxicated so I said something stupid in reply that Sober Joslyn the next morning went NO IDIOT to. Ha. #dontdrinkandtweet

 

TUCSON

 

I needed to be in Tucson the next day by noon, and it was a 6 hour drive, so guess who woke up at the ass crack of dawn again?! My alarm was set for 5am, but for some reason I had trouble sleeping, so I ended up awake at 4am and just went with it.

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The drive went surprisingly quick (it always seems faster earlier in the morning when the sun still isn’t up) and I was pretty much in awe of this amazing sunrise. Gah. Gorgeous.

 

I met up with Yvonne and Caroline who had flown in, and we went to check out the scene. It was on a golf course, and there was a shuttle bus from a shopping center a bit aways, so we had lunch before heading over.

 

This whole place was disorganized. It was the first time they had done something like this, and you could tell. No one knew anything. It was annoying. And hot as fuck again. Even though it was cooler temperature wise, the sun was beating and seemed hotter to the feel.

 

We were let in and I ran past the slow pokes to secure our front row spot.
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All was going fine. It was hot. I was complaining about it. Parachute came onstage. I sang and was happy. And then these huge rain clouds rolled in. SHADE, yay. But then they started pouring. And it was cold. And I was sad and complaining about that as well.

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Then it was gusty as all hell. So gusty that things were flying off the stage into the crowd. What the hell, Tucson?!

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So security starts going CRAZY and pushing all back about 500 feet behind the sound booth until the mini storm rolled through. I was beyond done with everything at this point and basically told some little kid he needed to not stand in front of me and I was saying loudly I would physically move someone if they got in my spot when we were let back. These teens looked at me when I said that and I pointed at some things we had left at the barricade and I said, “You see those? That’s our spot. Don’t stand there.” #bitchmodeon

So finally we were let back to the barricade, and of course the whole crowd ran. So I ran too and was like I WILL MOVE YOU WITH MY BODY IF YOU’RE IN MY SPOT. I was done. Tired, cranky, and just over it.

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Finally Rachel came out, and sadly her set was cut shorter because of the weather delay. SAD FACE. But she rocked it, and I love her so much.

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Matt was next and at the end of his set much to everyone’s surprise, even Matt’s, Rachel popped into his set with maracas to sing Faster. Oh Em Gee, those two together are the cutest!

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Then my cute happy mood wore off because this drunk girl started pushing her way onto the barricade and I was all UH NO, and shifted my weight so she couldn’t get in. “Oh honey, I’m not gonna take your spot. I’m just going to hug you from behind.” First off, honey?! Second, bitch if you hug me I will cut you. So then she starts singing off key and drunkenly into my ear, and her arm is over my shoulder and all up in my face so I push it off me. She puts it there again. Again I push it off. On. Off. She pushes me. I turn around and I fucking pushing her back. I was PISSED.

So finally her friend pulls her away and I’m like OH MY GOD FINALLY. I turn to Caroline who tells me, “Um…Aaron just saw that whole thing go down.” and I’m like, “I don’t care.” I look up and he’s looking at me and we just kinda give each other looks and I start shaking my head and start laughing. Done. So done.

After Matt there were three more bands playing but we didn’t want to stay any longer since we were driving the two hours up to Phoenix.

And of course to make my mood even better, there was this HUGE rain storm
along the drive that had me freaking out. It reminded me of the flash flood storm Yvonne and I drove through during the summer getting to Tahoe.

Since we had separate cars, when we got to the hotel Yvonne was like, “Oh my god, that rain reminded me of Tahoe. I thought ‘Joslyn must be hating this!'” and I was like, YEAH THANKS super hated!

We pretty much got in bed, and went to sleep around 10pm. Old ladies club, party of three!

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The following morning Caroline took Yvonne to the airport for her flight and I got ready to hit the road. After the long three days I had, an 11 hour drive in a car equals going to Dunkin Donuts and doubling up on $.99 iced coffee. Which made me pit stop three additional times for pee breaks, but coffee is totally worth it.

So there you have it. The weekend I saw all my favorites, almost died from heat, and almost killed a bitch. JOSLYNAPALOOZA SUCCESS.
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Posted on February 9, 2016, in Tour Life and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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